Why Robin Hood?: 2

In Uncategorized on June 11, 2010 at 1:53 pm

Photograph of re-enactress, Tower of London, 2006.

In short, Robin Hood is a socialist. Worse, he’s a terrorist. A modern Robin Hood, with his concern for underserved communities, would champion welfare and Saxon reparations (“by any means necessary”). Living in the woods labels him a tree-hugger, and if this doesn’t earn GOP ire, Robin believes in strong government (in the form of Richard the Lionheart). Never mind that he cohabitates with a cohort of “merry men.”

(This is not to say that Guy of Gisbourne is Dick Cheney – only that Guy loved wealth, disdained minorities, privatized resources, lauded capital punishment, sought an invasion of the Middle East for personal gain and permitted torture on the grounds of “national security.” You be the judge).

If Americans must turn to foreign folklore, they might pursue Sinbad the Sailor – a pre-Muslim Persian who sailed the world in search of treasure. This is the kind of entrepreneurial self-starter Americans can get behind, because he lives and dies by the sword, and no mythical beast gets in his way. Slash first, ask questions later. Get rich or die tryin’. If Robin Hood is Che Guevara, then Sinbad is positively gangsta.

Instead, we’re stuck with an eco-terrorist who believes in “social change.” (Cue Glen Beck freak-out). For a generation of “24” fans, in which a super-powerful nation strives to root out violent fanatics and double-agents, why do we still turn to Robin Hood, the most famous cop-killer in history? Why do we admire the man who wears disguises, kidnaps politicians, sneaks into bourgeois houses, and seduces the 12th Century equivalent of Paris Hilton? Shouldn’t the Tea Partiers be protesting Russell Crowe outside cinemas? Surely they despise an actor who glorifies sleeper-cells and Affirmative Action.

  1. I love the Guy of Gisbourne – Dick Cheney comparison. It is amazing how cartoon like real people can be. We can only hope that the judgement of history will play out in the same way and that a 1000 years from now Cheney will will continue to receive the vilification he so richly deserves.

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